How to Have Great Sex During Perimenopause, Menopause and Beyond

May 30, 2024

Doctor Consulting patient about sex in menopause

For decades we have not been as informed as we should have been about menopause and sex. So what is menopause? Menopause is a natural biological process that marks the end of a woman's reproductive years and brings about significant hormonal changes. It typically occurs in the late 40s to early 50s, although the timing may vary.

As you go through menopause you might experience hot flashes, thinning of the vaginal walls, vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse, bone loss, brain fog and other mood changes as well as weight changes and interesting this occurs especially to your middle as your body tries to hold onto the estrogen that abdominal fat produces.

Perimenopause is the lead-up to menopause and this is when your hormone levels start to change and your estrogen levels start dropping.

What is Perimenopause?

During perimenopause, your body is releasing its final eggs. It's worth noting that you can still get pregnant during this time and if pregnancy is not the goal please take the usual precautions. It usually starts in your 40s, and you might experience the following symptoms:

  • irregular periods (sometimes you won’t get a period for months, sometimes you get a ton of bleeding);
  • sleep disruption;
  • mood changes;
  • sex drive changes.

The Good news…. These symptoms are manageable, there’s a fast-growing sex and pleasure market right now for vulva owners experiencing this.

Does Menopause Decrease Women's Sexual Desire?

Contrary to popular belief, menopause doesn't uniformly diminish libido in all women. In fact, for some postmenopausal women, their sex drive may actually increase. Ultimately, while menopause may bring about changes in sexual desire for some women, it's essential to recognize that it's not a one-size-fits-all experience.

How to treat Vaginal Dryness during Menopause?

Vaginal dryness, a common symptom during and after menopause. Water-based lubricants such as [playground] can provide immediate relief by reducing friction and discomfort during sex. Furthermore, discussing vaginal estrogen therapy with your healthcare provider can offer additional options for managing vaginal dryness. Vaginal estrogen treatments help restore vaginal tissue health by increasing lubrication and improving elasticity. 

How Can I Improve My Sex Drive During and After Menopause?

Enhancing sexual desire during and after menopause can be achieved through a variety of methods. Estrogen replacement therapy may work for some women by treating vaginal dryness and making sex less painful. Additionally, doctors are exploring the potential benefits of combining estrogen with androgens, male hormones, to boost sex drive in women.

Incorporating sex toys into intimate encounters during menopause can also be beneficial. Sex toys enhance arousal, increase sensitivity, and provide relief from sexual discomfort. By prioritizing sexual health and exploration, women can navigate the complexities of menopause with confidence and discover a renewed sense of pleasure and fulfiment in their sexual experiences.

Exploring Sex Toys for Women in Menopause:

To enhance pleasure and intimacy during menopause, consider incorporating sex toys designed specifically for women into your sexual repertoire. Here are five recommendations from the experts at Pleasure and Intimacy.

1.Le Wand- Magic Wand Vibrator:


The Le Wand is a sleek and powerful compact vibrator, perfect for stimulating erogenous zones and enhancing arousal. With its dual-ended design and multiple vibration speeds, it offers customizable pleasure for solo play or partnered exploration.

2.Jimmyjane Form 2 PRO Vibrator


Experience intense, clitoral stimulation with the Jimmyjane Form

With five vibration modes and five intensity levels, its dual-motor design targets the clitoris for heightened pleasure. This award-winning toy is USB-rechargeable, waterproof, and made with hygienic silicone. It features a discretionary travel lock and offers 60 minutes of run time after a 90-minute charge.

3.We-Vibe Chorus:


Designed for couples, the We-Vibe Chorus offers dual stimulation for both the clitoris and G-spot during intercourse. With its adjustable fit and customizable vibrations, it enhances intimacy and pleasure for partners exploring new heights of pleasure together.

4.Womanizer Premium:


Discover the pleasure of touchless stimulation with the Womanizer Premium, featuring Pleasure Air Technology that gently sucks and massages the clitoris. With its luxurious design and multiple intensity levels, it offers indulgent pleasure and satisfaction.

5.Lelo Soraya Wave:



Indulge in dual stimulation with the Lelo Soraya Wave, featuring a flexible external arm and internal pulsating motion for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral pleasure. With its ergonomic design and customizable settings, it provides luxurious satisfaction and sensual exploration. By prioritizing open communication, sensual exploration, and the use of high-quality sex toys designed for women, individuals can embrace their sexuality with confidence and pleasure. At Pleasure and Intimacy, we're committed to supporting women at every stage of their sexual journey, offering resources, products to enhance pleasure, intimacy, and sexual fulfillment.

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: Does a woman still get wet after menopause?

A:Yes, women can get wet after menopause. But vaginal dryness is common during and after menopause due to decreased estrogen levels. Using water-based lubricants and vaginal moisturizers can help manage this symptom.

Q: How to get your sex drive back after menopause?

A:To improve sex drive after menopause, consider hormone replacement therapy, counseling, and incorporating sex toys. Open communication with your partner and exploring new forms of intimacy can also be beneficial.

Q:How can I naturally increase my sex drive after 50?

A:To naturally increase sex drive after 50, focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management. Open communication with your partner and exploring new sexual activities can also enhance libido.

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