June is Pride Month — and at Pleasure & Intimacy, we believe every body deserves access to pleasure that actually fits. This guide is for anyone who's ever felt like the sex toy industry wasn't quite speaking to them.
Pleasure has no pronouns
Walk into most sex toy shops — or scroll through most online stores — and you'll notice something. Products are sorted into tidy binaries. Toys "for her." Toys "for couples" (read: one penis, one vagina). A separate, slightly awkward section quietly labelled "gay" or "LGBT," tucked somewhere near the back.
It's a framework that leaves a lot of people out. Trans bodies. Non-binary bodies. Bisexual and pansexual people whose desires don't fit a single category. Lesbian couples who want penetration. Gay men who love vibrators. Queer people of every configuration who simply want to know: what will actually feel good for me?
The honest answer? Most toys don't care about your pronouns. Your body has nerve endings, erogenous zones, and preferences — and the right toy is the one that works with those, full stop. This guide is about helping you find it.
Start with your body, not a category
The most useful question isn't "is this toy for men or women?" It's: where do I want stimulation, and what kind?
A few questions worth sitting with before you shop:
- External or internal stimulation? Some people want surface-level clitoral, penile, or perineal stimulation. Others want internal fullness or G-spot/P-spot pressure. Many want both at once.
- Vibration or pressure? Vibrators deliver oscillating sensation; dildos and plugs provide pressure and fullness. Some bodies respond better to one, some to both — and that has nothing to do with gender identity.
- Solo or partnered? This shapes size, function, and whether you want something wearable, hands-free, or remote-controlled.
- Penetration — giving, receiving, or both? This is especially relevant for trans and non-binary bodies navigating dysphoria, and for couples of any configuration exploring new dynamics.
Once you're thinking in terms of your actual body rather than marketing categories, the whole catalogue opens up.
A body-inclusive guide to what's out there
Vibrators — not just "for women"
Vibrators stimulate nerve endings. All bodies have them. The clitoris, the frenulum, the perineum, the glans, the prostate — all respond beautifully to vibration.
For anyone with a clitoris (including trans women and some non-binary people), a quality external vibrator is often the most reliable route to orgasm. Rabbit vibrators offer dual stimulation — internal and external simultaneously — and work for any body with a vagina, regardless of how that person identifies.
For people with penises, wand vibrators applied to the frenulum or perineum can produce intense sensation that many people haven't explored simply because marketing told them vibrators weren't for them. That's a gap worth closing.
Bullet vibrators are small, precise, and genuinely universal — they go where you point them, and they work.
Dildos and strap-on play
Strap-on harnesses have historically been associated with lesbian sex, but they're used and loved across every orientation and gender configuration. Trans men, non-binary people, and anyone who wants to give penetration without a biological penis will find a well-fitting harness genuinely life-changing.
A few things worth knowing:
- Harness fit matters. Look for adjustable straps and O-ring compatibility so you can swap dildo sizes.
- Material matters more than you'd think. Body-safe silicone, glass, and stainless steel are non-porous and easy to sterilise — important for anal play especially.
- Packing dildos (soft, non-functional) and stand-to-pee packers serve different needs than penetration — they're about embodiment, and they belong in the conversation too.
Anal play — for every body
The anus has a dense concentration of nerve endings regardless of gender. Anal play is not inherently gendered, and the stigma that codes it as exclusively gay or exclusively "advanced" is both inaccurate and unhelpful.
Prostate stimulation (for people with prostates — typically cis men and some trans women) can produce some of the most intense orgasms of a person's life. Anal plugs, beads, and curved prostate massagers are designed for this specifically.
For everyone else, anal play offers a different kind of fullness and sensation that partners well with external stimulation. Start small, use generous lubrication, and always choose a toy with a flared base.
Couples' toys — reimagined
"Couples' toy" doesn't have to mean one toy designed around one very specific anatomy. Wearable vibrators, remote-controlled toys, and cock rings worn on a harness dildo rather than a biological penis all open up partnered play for queer couples in ways traditional couples' toys simply don't.
We-Vibe's range, for example, is body-inclusive by design — their couples' vibrators work for lesbian couples, for couples where one or both partners are trans, and for any configuration where simultaneous stimulation is the goal.
A note on language
We try to describe our products in terms of body parts and sensations rather than gender. You'll notice we write about "people with vulvas" and "people with prostates" rather than defaulting to "women" and "men." This isn't clinical distancing — it's precision. It means everyone who the description applies to can actually find themselves in it.
If you ever land on a product page and the language doesn't feel like it speaks to you, please reach out. We're always refining.
Navigating dysphoria and intimacy
For trans and non-binary people, intimacy can carry a layer of complexity that cis people rarely navigate — the relationship between your body as it is and your body as you experience it can make certain kinds of touch affirming, neutral, or actively uncomfortable.
A few things that can help:
- Name your geography. Using your own language for your body parts — with partners and when exploring solo — can reduce dysphoria and increase presence during sex.
- Toys can create distance (in a good way). Using a harness, a wand, or a hands-free toy can allow stimulation without the kind of direct contact that might trigger dysphoria.
- Sensation over anatomy. Focusing on what feels good — the vibration, the pressure, the warmth — rather than which part of your body is being touched, can be a useful reframe.
Intimacy during transition, or while living in a body that society doesn't always reflect back to you accurately, deserves the same access to pleasure as anyone else's. The toys are for you too.
Lube: the one universal recommendation
Whatever your body, whatever your configuration, whatever you're doing — lube makes it better. Use more than you think you need. Use a water-based formula with silicone toys. Use a silicone formula for skin-on-skin or with glass and steel. Never use oil-based lube with latex barriers.
This is the least glamorous and most universally useful piece of advice we can give.
Shop by sensation, not by category
This Pride Month — and every month — we want Pleasure & Intimacy to be a store where you can shop by what you actually want to feel, not by the gender identity the packaging assumes you have.
If you're not sure where to start, our luxury sex toys collection and couples sex toys collection are good places to browse. And if you want a personal recommendation, reach out — we're here for it.
Pleasure has always been yours. We're just here to help you find it.
Happy Pride. 🏳️🌈
