Let's just say it: anal sex is having a moment. Actually, it has been having a moment for quite some time — people across every gender, orientation, and relationship structure have been quietly (and not so quietly) discovering that the back door opens onto some seriously spectacular territory. And yet, for something so widely enjoyed, it remains one of the least talked-about topics in sexual wellness. We are here to change that.
Whether you are completely new to anal play, curious but cautious, or simply looking to do it better — this guide covers everything you need to know. No judgement, no awkwardness. Just honest, useful information and a few recommendations that might genuinely change your life.
Why does anal pleasure feel so good?
The short answer is nerve endings — a lot of them. The anal region is densely packed with sensitive nerve endings that respond to pressure, vibration, and stimulation in ways that feel distinct from anything else.
For people with a prostate, anal play has the added bonus of accessing the P-spot (also called the male G-spot), a walnut-sized gland that, when stimulated correctly, can produce deep, full-body orgasms that are qualitatively different from a standard climax. For people without a prostate, the indirect stimulation of the internal pelvic floor and vaginal wall through anal play can significantly intensify orgasm during solo or partnered sex.
In short — there is a lot going on back there, and most of it is very good.
The golden rules before you begin
Before we get into toys and technique, a few fundamentals that will make everything better.
Go slow. This is the single most important piece of advice anyone will ever give you about anal play. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and like any muscle it needs time to relax. Rushing is the enemy of a good experience. Take your time, breathe, and let your body lead.
Communicate. Whether you are exploring solo or with a partner, check in regularly. What feels good? What needs adjusting? Anal play is not a push-through situation. Discomfort is a signal to slow down, not a rite of passage.
Never use anything without a flared base. The rectum has a natural suction effect that can draw objects inward. Every anal toy must have a flared base or a retrieval cord. This is not optional — it is a safety requirement. Every product we stock meets this requirement without exception.
Let's talk about lube — because this is the most important section of this entire article
We cannot stress this enough: anal sex without lubrication is a bad idea. Unlike the vagina, the anus produces no natural lubrication of its own. None. Zero. Which means friction is the default — and friction is not your friend here.
A dedicated anal lubricant is thicker and longer-lasting than a standard personal lubricant, designed specifically to cushion and protect the delicate tissue of the anal canal. Here is what you need to know about choosing one.
Water-based
The most versatile option — compatible with all toy materials including silicone, and safe with latex condoms. Needs reapplying more often but is gentle on sensitive skin. Try the JO H2O Anal Warming range or Sliquid Naturals Sassy.
Silicone-based
Lasts significantly longer and requires less reapplication — ideal for longer sessions. Not compatible with silicone toys. Works beautifully with glass, metal, or hard plastic. Browse our silicone lube collection.
Warming formulas
Warming anal lubes add a gentle heat sensation that many people find dramatically enhances the experience. The JO H2O Anal Warming is one of our most loved options in this category.
How much?
More than you think. And then a little more. Generosity with lubricant is never a mistake in anal play. Reapply as needed — there is truly no such thing as too much here.
Quick compatibility guide: Silicone lube + silicone toy = damaged toy. Silicone lube + glass or metal toy = perfect combination. When in doubt, water-based lube works safely with everything.
Choosing your first anal toy
The best anal toy for a beginner is one that is small, smooth, made from body-safe silicone, and has a flared base. A slim beginner butt plug is the perfect starting point — insert it slowly, allow your body to adjust, and simply experience the sensation before adding any movement or vibration.
If you prefer a structured approach to sizing, an anal training kit is a brilliant investment. The b-Vibe 3-Piece Anal Training Kit comes with three graduated plugs and a step-by-step guide. It takes all the guesswork out of where to start and where to go next.
Once you are comfortable with a basic plug, the world genuinely opens up:
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Vibrating butt plugs — add a layer of sensation that many people find transforms the experience entirely. The b-Vibe Vibrating Heart Plug comes with a remote control making it as perfect for partnered play as for solo use. Browse the full butt plug collection.
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Rimming plugs — replicate external rimming sensation internally through rotating beads at the neck of the plug. The b-Vibe Rimming range is the gold standard here and is, frankly, extraordinary.
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Prostate massagers — shaped to reach and apply direct pressure to the P-spot. The Aneros Trident series is the classic choice for hands-free stimulation; the LELO LOKI and Aneros Vice 2 add vibration for deeper intensity. Shop the full prostate massager range.
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Anal beads — build sensation gradually through a series of beads inserted and slowly removed at the point of orgasm. The rhythm of removal at climax is something many describe as unlike anything else.
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Strap-ons & pegging kits — for partnered play of all kinds. The ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit is a brilliant beginner option. Explore the LGBTQ+ collection for fully inclusive options.
A few more things worth knowing
Clean up before you play if it makes you feel more comfortable — a light rinse is all that is needed. Anxiety about cleanliness is one of the most common barriers to enjoyment, and a warm shower beforehand is perfectly sufficient for most people.
Clean your toys after every single use with warm water and a toy-safe cleaner, and store them separately in a clean, dry bag.
Remember: anal play should not be painful. Mild pressure and fullness are normal sensations; sharp pain is not. Listen to your body, use more lube, go slower, or try a smaller size. There is absolutely no prize for discomfort — pleasure is the entire point.
Ready to explore?
