![The Best of Boundaries - Relationship Advice - Shop Sex Toys and Accessories - USA](http://pleasureintimacy.com/cdn/shop/articles/kelly-sikkema-4le7k9XVYjE-unsplash_1.jpg?v=1688925497&width=360)
Boundaries are important for the health of any relationship (whether it is a relationship with your parents, children, romantic partners, friends or colleagues). If you fear that your relationship with any of the above will suffer if you set a boundary and just be a people-pleaser to avoid rocking the boat, eventually resentment will build up and will actually threaten the very relationship you were trying to protect with your, parent, partner, children, friend or colleague(s). Donât suffer in silence. Setting boundaries always comes down to effective communication and itâs a litmus test to see whether or not the person with whom youâre setting the boundary with actually respects you enough to respect the boundary you have set and support you. [A lot to take in there!] If there is likely to be a complete blow out after youâve set a boundary, thatâs a bad sign. That suggests that your relationship is conditional and is based on superficial benefits rather than unconditional acceptance.
When you don't feel safe, it's difficult to set and hold boundaries. Embodying safety is essential to your boundary work. Brene Brown said, âDaring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.â Disappointing others may feel unsafe for those who are prone to people-pleasing. It can be a trauma response from a previous unhealthy relationship or an abusive upbringing or where you have experienced emotional neglect or manipulation or emotional bullying.
Ignoring the âlittleâ things can become big things that threaten a relationship. Itâs important that we turn towards difficult conversations rather than away and feel safe in the relationship to convey what we need, what we desire, when you feel unappreciated or when you need some space.
Maintaining personal boundaries in any relationship is crucial for the individuals involved, as it allows for a healthy and respectful dynamic. It is important to establish and communicate these boundaries to ensure that everyone feels safe and respected. Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, said it best âacts of love are only valid if theyâre performed without conditions or expectationsâ. He goes on to say, âPeople with strong boundaries are not afraid of a temper tantrum, an argument, or getting hurt. People with weak boundaries are terrified of those things and will constantly mold their own behavior to fit the highs and lows of their relational emotional roller coaster. People with strong boundaries understand that itâs unreasonable to expect two people to accommodate each other 100 percent and fulfil every need the other has. People with strong boundaries understand that they may hurt someoneâs feelings sometimes, but ultimately they canât determine how other people feel. People with strong boundaries understand that a healthy relationship is not about controlling one another but rather about supporting the other in their individual growth and in solving their own problems. Itâs not about giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; itâs about giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives. Thatâs unconditional love, baby.
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