Pleasure & Intimacy

Unfortunately stress has become an everyday companion for a lot of us and has potential to impact our relationships - in a lot of ways!  While the impacts of stress on mental and physical health are well-documented, its ramifications on our sex life is not discussed so often. Stress can significantly disrupt the delicate balance of intimacy, affecting connection, desire, performance, and overall satisfaction. Today we will shed light on the role of stress in affecting relationship and sexual well-being and provide strategies to overcome its underlying hurdles.

The Domino Effect:

Stress serves as a catalyst for a domino effect, disrupting various aspects of someone’s relationship and sex life.

From an intimate perspective: From reduced libido to erectile dysfunction, stress can undermine the desire and ability to engage in sexual activities. Increased anxiety levels obscure focus and inhibit pleasure, leading to unsatisfactory experiences. Chronic stress can even disrupt hormone levels, further impacting sexual function and exacerbating existing issues.

From a relationship perspective, neglecting the negative influence of stress can strain relationships and potentially lead to their demise if not dealt with thoughtfully.

Overcoming the Hurdles:

While stress may appear insurmountable, proactive steps can be taken to overcome its adverse impact on the sexual domain:

1. Communication: We cannot say it enough!  Communication is lubrication.  This catch-phrase from our fave @sexwithemily isn’t just about asking your partner for what you want or don’t want in bed from a pleasure point but it’s having open and honest conversations with your partner about what is causing you any amount of stress. Sharing concerns and understanding each other's experiences can foster empathy and cooperation in finding solutions and building a stronger foundation of the relationship and better connection, pleasure and you bet… intimacy! 

2. Stress Management: Okay - this one does take some introspection and identifying as to what type of personality we are.  There are 2 main personality types, avoidant personality style and attachment style.  I do believe that we have a little of both in us but there is a dominant style and we need to identify which one is our dominant style and learn how we can manage it.  For example, if we are an avoidant personality type: rather than impulsively flying off the handle after an argument, if we take a step back, ask our partner for some space and then reconvene when the air has cleared and approach the situation with a calm and open mind (and heart). If our dominant personality type is attachment style, knowing when to pull back, can give our partner breathing space and most importantly we won’t lose ourselves in the relationship. It’s also really important to adopt effective stress management techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, exercise, and relaxation practices which can alleviate the impact of stress on both mental and physical well-being. Prioritizing self-care is essential to combatting the negative effects of stress. Side note: did you know that sex is a stress buster and it’s been known to build connection and intimacy and you can totally get back on track with your partner?  You’re welcome!

3. Seeking Professional Support: There does seem to still be some stigma around seeking professional help.  Talking to an impartial person can help to see things from a different perspective.  After all, we don't have all the answers and we are not always right!  It helps us to be better communicators, improve conflict resolution, it allows us to open up without fear of judgement, it allows us to process our emotions and when we let it out… we make room for growth and healing. 

4. Prioritizing Intimacy: See point 2 above!  PRIORITIZING intimacy and connection with your partner!  Yes!  A great big HELL YES!  Carving out quality time for intimacy and nurturing each other’s sexual relationship is vital.  Remember, relationships aren’t perfect and they aren’t going to be fun all of the time.  They are work.  A relationship is not a cactus.  You need to nurture it, water it, talk to it and care for it daily!!!  You will reap the benefits of a beautiful connection and a lasting, supportive and loving relationship.

Acknowledging stress's detrimental impact on our relationship and sex life is the first step towards reclaiming relational and sexual well-being. By employing effective stress management techniques, engaging in open communication, and prioritizing intimacy, individuals can overcome the hurdles and rediscover the pleasures of a fulfilling and satisfying sex life and relationship. Remember, with perseverance and understanding, the domino effect of stress can be halted, ensuring a harmonious and healthy intimate relationship.